The science behind casual conversation at work, and how you can do it well

The Zoom call was scheduled for 30 minutes, and my client arrived a minute or two late. We had a lot to accomplish in that brief call: options needed to be reviewed and decisions made. But before we dove in, I started with a simple question:

“Any fun plans this summer?”

We spent the first five minutes of the call sharing about our summer travels—my recent trip to Alaska, the rustic family cabin (with questionable plumbing) where she was planning to spend a long weekend.

Was this small talk at the start of the call a good use of our precious, limited time together? I’m a firm believer that it is.

Casual conversation, when contained to a reasonable amount of time, serves an important function in your meetings with clients and colleagues. It reminds you to breathe, to exhale; it reminds you that we’re all human. And the bonds that are created as we share small aspects of our lives make future work together easier.

These little exchanges that start meetings may seem simple, perhaps they even feel like a diversion from the important work at hand. But skipping over the small talk can have an outsize, negative impact on your meeting and your day.

Those chit-chat conversations are doing more work than you think.

The science behind the chit-chat

Small talk has a reputation problem. In a culture obsessed with productivity, efficiency, and "deep work," casual conversation at the office or at the start of a Zoom meeting can feel like a time-waster. But research suggests we've been dramatically underestimating the positive impact of small talk.

A study published in the Academy of Management Journal found that on days when employees engaged in more small talk than usual, they experienced a measurable boost in mood and positive energy. That uplift didn't stay contained—it spilled over into their behavior. People were more willing to help colleagues, more collaborative, and reported higher levels of well-being.

Reread that sentence before you move on: people who invest in casual conversation with their colleagues are more collaborative and helpful. The small talk actually creates conditions for important work to take place.

The researchers propose that small talk eases transitions, making it easier to move from one topic to the next. The brief exchanges also make work life feel more relational, less transactional. Over time, these micro-exchanges build something more durable: trust, and even friendship. Those factors enable meaningful collaboration over the long term.

High-quality connections: The bigger picture

Organizational theorist Jane Dutton, of the University of Michigan, researches High Quality Connections (HQCs). Dutton's work shows that even brief, positive interactions between people at work (not deep friendships, not long conversations, just moments of genuine human contact) can have profound effects on energy, resilience, and performance.

HQCs are characterized by a sense of vitality, being seen, and positive regard. Importantly, Dutton's research demonstrates that these connections don't require intimacy or history. A two-minute conversation in the elevator, a warm check-in as a team call begins, or a genuine "how are you holding up?" in a corridor: these are the building blocks of meaningful engagement.

What small talk does, in Dutton's framework, is open the door to HQCs. You don't build trust through grand gestures; you build it through accumulated small ones.

For leaders especially, this matters enormously. Research consistently shows that employees who feel seen and valued by their managers are more engaged, more loyal, and more likely to go the extra mile.

What good small talk actually looks like

If you're someone who finds small talk awkward or forced, the good news is that the bar is lower than you think. You don't need to be witty, charming, or naturally gregarious. You just need to be attentive and genuinely curious.

Here are three practical tips for using small talk to its full advantage:

1. Ask about something specific, not generic. "How was your weekend?" is fine. "Didn't you say you were going to that art exhibit—how was it?" is better because it signals you were listening last time.

2. Be genuinely curious, not performatively friendly. People can tell the difference. Small talk works when it's rooted in actual interest in the other person.

3. Notice and acknowledge. If a colleague looks tired, or mentions they've had a tough week, a simple "that sounds like a lot—are you doing okay?" is small talk that shows attentiveness and genuine concern.

A word of caution and of encouragement

The study mentioned earlier did find a downside to small talk: too much can be a distraction. (We’ve all had that colleague.) If someone is deep in concentration and you pull them out of it for a 20-minute chat, you've done them no favors.

The goal isn't to become the office social butterfly. Instead, the goal is to be intentional—to use the natural transition points in your day (before meetings, as you pass one another in the hallway, in the moments between tasks) to invest briefly but genuinely in the people around you. They will notice, and you’ll feel better for doing it.

So here's the gentle push: small talk more. Not endlessly, not at the expense of focus or productivity, but more than you probably do right now.

Small talk isn't the opposite of serious work. It's what makes serious work possible.

Bonus resources for easier small talk

One way to get started is to build “ice breaker” time into the start of team meetings by asking everyone to briefly respond to a question. (The secret—make the questions bite-sized and safe for work.) Here’s a list of questions that go beyond “How was your weekend?’ while still staying safely contained:

1. What’s giving you energy this week?
2. What is one work-related thing you’re nerdy about?
3. What is one thing that this team should know about how you like to work?
4. Name three values you try to live by at work. From whom did you learn these values?
5. Tell me a story about the best leader you’ve known personally. What made their leadership great?
6. What’s the best piece of professional advice you’ve ever received?
7. What is one work habit that has served you well?
8. What’s one thing you’re curious to learn more about this year?
9. What do you do when you need a short break? (For example, what websites do you visit?)
10. What was your first job? What was something you learned from it that sticks with you today?

(Note: I originally shared these questions, plus 10 more, in a newsletter on the value of ice breakers.)

Categories: Building Trust, Employee Engagement, Leadership Skills, Team Collaboration, Workplace Communication

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