You teach people how to treat you. Be careful what you’re teaching them.

During a recent coaching session, my client David (name changed), a VP of Marketing, shared his frustration with me. “Michelle, I want to be there for my team. I tell them my door is always open, that they can come to me with anything. But honestly, I’m drowning in interruptions. I can’t get through a single strategic project without someone knocking on my door every twenty minutes.”

Sound familiar? David’s dilemma reflects one of the most common challenges I hear from leaders: the push-pull between wanting to support their team and needing uninterrupted time for important work.

The intention behind an “open door policy” is beautiful. It signals that you care about your team, want to remove bottlenecks, and are committed to their success. However, there’s an unintended consequence that many leaders don’t recognize: you’re unconsciously teaching people that you’re always available.

The Hidden Cost of Always Being Available

Here’s what I shared with David, and it’s a “writer-downer” (my phrase for something so important you need to capture it): You teach people how to treat you. Be careful what you’re teaching them.

When you answer every question the moment it’s asked, you’re teaching your team that immediate responses are expected. When you reply to emails within minutes on evenings and weekends, you’re teaching them that you’re available 24/7. When you allow constant interruptions, you’re teaching them that your time has no boundaries.

Then we wonder why people treat us like we’re always available—and feel frustrated when they do exactly what we’ve trained them to do.

The Growth Opportunity Hidden in Boundaries

But here’s what’s fascinating: setting boundaries around your availability isn’t just good for you—it’s actually better for your team’s development. When team members know they can come to you the second they have a question, they don’t do the research themselves. They don’t try problem-solving first. They don’t collaborate with colleagues who might have the answer.

This creates a pattern I see repeatedly in my coaching practice: leaders complain that their team always comes to them for answers instead of learning to solve problems independently. The solution isn’t to become less helpful—it’s to become more strategically helpful.

In essence, constant availability can inadvertently create dependency rather than growth.

A Framework for Balanced Availability

The solution isn’t to become unavailable—it’s to become strategically available. Here’s the framework I helped David implement:

1. Co-Create the System with Your Team

People support what they help create. Have an open conversation with your team about this dynamic. Acknowledge that you want to be available while also having focused work time. Ask for their input on how to make this work for everyone.

2. Define “Emergency” Together

Work with your team to clearly define what constitutes an emergency that warrants interruption during focused work time. For some organizations, it might be client escalations or system outages. For others, it might be time-sensitive opportunities. The key is getting alignment on these definitions.

3. Create Visible Boundaries

Implement a simple system like:

• Morning availability: First hour of the day for questions and check-ins
• Focused work time: Door closed with a “Deep in Thought” sign for 1-2 hours
• Afternoon availability: Open for team interactions and collaboration

The more people understand your system, the more they’ll respect it.

4. Establish Alternative Communication Channels

Create structured ways for non-urgent communication:

• Daily stand-ups: Brief morning meetings for regular check-ins
• Shared check-in documents: For questions that can wait for your weekly 1:1s
• Peer collaboration: Encourage team members to consult each other first

5. Use the Eisenhower Matrix

Help your team evaluate interruptions using two criteria: Is it urgent? and Is it truly important? This framework helps everyone make better decisions about when to interrupt and when to wait.

The Transformation

Within a month of implementing this system, David’s experience completely changed. “I’m getting twice as much strategic work done,” he told me. “But more importantly, my team is solving more problems independently and collaborating better with each other. They’re actually growing faster because they’re not relying on me for every answer.”

His team’s feedback was equally positive. They appreciated the clarity around expectations and found that the structured availability actually made their interactions with David more focused and valuable.

The Leadership Opportunity

Remember, this isn’t about being less supportive—it’s about being more intentionally supportive. When you create boundaries around your time, you’re modeling healthy work practices for your entire team. You’re showing them that focused work matters, that it’s okay to protect time for important projects, and that growth comes from wrestling with challenges before seeking help.

The most effective leaders aren’t always available—they’re strategically available. They create systems that support their team’s growth while protecting their own capacity for the big-picture work that only they can do.

The bottom line: Your availability is a gift, but like any gift, it’s more valuable when it’s given thoughtfully rather than constantly. By teaching people how to treat your time with respect, you create space for both your success and theirs.

How is your leadership style impacting your team’s performance? Take our Peak Performance Assessment to gain insights on the kind of culture you’re fostering.

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